More Test and More scare

Jim goes in tomorrow at 9 30 am for his PET scan and he is scared and I am scared for him.  This is to show if any has spread to other areas.  God I wish I could do this for him.  He was sick to his stomach tonight and seemed really warm, like running a fever.  I am so worried for him.

I am praying so hard and asking everyone I know to pray for him.

God Be with us , Help Jim to handle this, Help me be able to take care of him.  Dear God please let someone be smart enough to develop a cure.  I am scared what Jim will do if it gets to hard for him to handle.

He finally called and told his brother tonight.  Told his brother is just thinking positive and he is going to beat this.  Jim never tells anyone what he really is feeling or thinking.  He never wants others to worry about him .  Dear God help to be able to talk about this without alcohol.

Thank you God for always taking care of our problems, I hate to have to ask you for so much. I know there are lots of things and people out there that need your time.

I love Jim so much.

Tags: canser, family, help, love, scared, support, survivors

Monday Morning itus

Got up this morning,  this is a good thing.

Made Coffee,    ate new item this morning.  Very good

Pillsbury Toaster Strudel  Sweet Delights Boston Cream Pie      Rating *****

First thing:  Facebook  Had to do my cityville       Addiction along millions of others.  Except it everyone YOU R addicted to Facebook, Twitter, My Space at least one of them unless you are one of the very few that still will not turn on a computer.

Second Thing: Pogo to do daily badges.  One thing that Jim and I do together.

Third Thing: Today Word Press. See how long I do this.  Something new to maybe keep me busy and not so much thinking maybe.

Fourth Thing:  Who knows maybe even clean house today  LOL

Very First Post

I am going to try to write down my feelings , maybe help me deal.

Jim was diagnosed with inoperable cancer on Friday.  I don’t think I am handling very well.  Don’t know who to say what too.

Jim only says we got to be positive.

First thing I think of is What the heck are we going to do?  Then feel bad about even thinking this way.

GW had already told Jim that more than likely he would be laid off after this job.

This is the only insurance we have and so far with just one bill from one dr. We owe $144 more than ins. pays.  And besides that, he has had lung x-ray one day , then mri another day,  then to a specialist , then for a biopsy, then another visit to the specialist, now he will have a ped scan on Tuesday, and to a radiation dr.,so don’t have a clue what that will be.  

I am almost positive GW to get rid of Jim when Jim tells them the results of these visits so far.  He told them he was having to go for biopsy.  So they know, and Jim is already having very hard time breathing so he is not going to be able to work with this going on.  

And of course with UE, you have to be able and available, so will not get this.

I am the one who pays bills, so know what we have to pay and I only get SS which is not much.  He is not old enough to get Medicare. 

Jim will not tell any of his family and will not let me tell anyone.  So only ones that know this is my family.   I don ‘t keep secrets from them.

I am just worried, Sorry got to quit before Jim catches me writing about this, but just have to get it out on paper, maybe will help me decide how to act, what to say.  Hopefully how to feel.

God Be with us please.

Tags: cancer, doctor, health, lungs, MRI, Ped scan

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